Brian and I have lunch together each week when we can. We first met during French classes around ten years ago; he was my teacher. Our meals started soon after. Brian was sixty five, I was two years older and we clicked. Initially, conversation was limited - while his French was fluent, mine was still…
The preserve of the tongue-tied
Mrs Miller moved like a tortoise. All her movements were slow, nothing sudden, nothing jerky; she was certainly not someone to be hurried. It was a concern about her shortness of breath that brought her to the clinic, and the diagnosis was soon clear; she had developed asthma. But, for her sake, her eerie slowness also needed…
Divided we stand
While the invaders in our Brittany garden were welcomed by my wife they had me in a real spin. I am a very tidy gardener, not to say obsessional, and in my view these six, albeit very imposing invaders simply got in the way. They would have seeded themselves in the spring and by the…
You must be serious!
It will be the same advice once again; the ninth time in less than a fortnight. We are on the runway at Amsterdam airport on the last leg of our journey back from the Galápagos Islands . The plane waits prior to take off.
Slippery customer
My wife, Rohan, suggested that we eat out at Vince et Versa, a restaurant nearby. I agreed but on one condition, that I be allowed to bring my own cutlery. My proposal was rejected - it would be an affront. A day later, I hatched a less obtrusive plan and a table was booked. I…
The secret garden
There is a garden near our home in France and it is one of my treasured sights. Among other such sights could be a particular wall or seascape, bush or tree, or perhaps some old railings. Whenever I see one of them, I linger and gaze, sometimes touch or even sniff. As with many of…
The estuary boys
Puzzling over accents gives me enormous pleasure. Trying to work out a person's origins from their voice is an obsession [see In a manner of speaking Greyhares, 9 September 2012] and there is little more disquieting than hearing an accent that I cannot place, or one that jars. At the same time, disguising my own voice…
Reopening gambit
After closely observing my peers, I have concluded that when people retire their approach to life remains much the same as it did when they were earning - busy people stay busy and lazy people do rather little. During my own career I was actually too busy - some say a workaholic! My days were…
Mrs Mole, mother of invention
There is something strangely appealing about the common mole. Indeed, she (and in France moles are generally thought of as female) has enough appeal to make her a fairy-tale favourite amongst children. Apart from her beautiful black pelt she is actually rather ugly with her protuberant fleshy nose, over-large pink front feet and silly short tail. When…
A great escape
In a few days, on the 14 June to be precise, around two thousand men dressed up as soldiers will gather in Naseby, in the heart of England. There, they will form up as two opposing armies and do battle. It will be a festival of make-believe in which these soldiers re-enact a key battle…
The Joe Collier Blog 