Life after teeth

Joe Collier relishes becoming a crusty old man again As I reached the top of the stairs I was overtaken by a man in a hurry mumbling, "Health and Safety..." We were both heading for the Gents and once inside, in fact standing shoulder-to-shoulder, his Health and Safety theme continued. We men generally stay quiet…

Grauniad of the english language

I imagine most of us have a favourite daily newspaper and for many years mine was the Guardian. It is not everyone's ideal - at my local supermarket the height of the Guardian's pile each morning is less than half that of the Daily Mail - but it worked for me. Not only was it…

Table talk

Our final topic was perhaps an odd one to tackle over mid-morning coffee and anyway, in the end, nothing was actually resolved. Frank and I had met for one of our occasional coffees, initially convened to review the progress of a project we were both involved in. That business done, it was on to more…

Losing the plot

Compared to moving house or getting a divorce, losing one's allotment is way down on the major life-event scale. But nevertheless it is sad and is happening to us. Plot 8 has been ours since 1994, and in November we will stop paying our subs to the Management Committee and will hand back the key…

When words failed me

It has been a terrible few weeks and I am writing this blog in the saddest of circumstances. At the end of February my wife and I were completely thrown by the death of our eldest son. It has all been very painful, but one way that has helped us deal with our grief has…

Cupboard love

Joe Collier works through his difficult relationship with a piece of furniture Yesterday a tug-of-love in the Collier family was finally, or probably finally, resolved. The central character in the saga is a dour, antique two-piece wooden cupboard with glass-fronted top that we brought in 1980. It cost £3.50 and was spotted by my wife…

Don’t mention the …

When cycling near my cottage in Brittany my mind often conjures up images of German soldiers. In the Second World War there were many thousands stationed thereabouts. I see them in their ones and twos strutting along roads and across fields in their 1940s uniforms. No doubt these persistent images would have been seeded in…

Open letter to Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature, I write to you as both a citizen of the world and an individual. As a citizen I offer you my sincerest apologies for the awful behaviour of human society at large. The way we are depleting the ozone layer, destroying forests worldwide, and squandering irreplaceable natural resources is deplorable. For over…

In the pink

There were thirty of us gathered for the occasion. At one end of the room sat Martha, who was her calm, alert and smiling self. Next to her on a small table was a greetings card. It was from the Queen. Next day Martha would be one hundred. Three parties had been arranged for her:…

Jubilee lines

In the end we were lucky. By starting at daybreak the window cleaners managed to squeeze us in. A few weeks earlier our roof had been repaired. The new slates were a picture, the insulation in the attic a relief, and the dirt in the house a nightmare. A thorough spring clean was not enough…